SHAMEFULLY SELFISH!!!

"Vanity": the effect of unwarranted grade school teasing or being drenched in images of photoshopped models prancing around in revealing speedos and bikini bottoms? Or perhaps it's the combination of the two...maybe one precedes the other. Whatever the cause of this self-hindering personality trait isn't important. The only thing remotely significant at this moment is that Mr. bIdEuX has been stricken with this sickly ailment! I've realized now that I'm deathly self-conscious, which, unfortunately, is affecting my quality of life. So much so that I've failed, YET AGAIN, #70! The fear of being filmed for the local news was just too overwhelming...but in a pathetic attempt to regain some dignity, regardless of how little, I must say that there existed a war of morality in my mind. "Who cares what you look like on television? Your purpose for being there is to help those who are currently unable to help themselves!," says the logical, yet unheard voice. "But...but...look at yourself! Do you really want to be seen in the public eye as you are now, even for half a second?," declared the voice of anarchy and pessimism. Yeah, it's obvious who won here, right? *Sigh* This poor characteristic of mine has also been linked to my bouts with mild (not clinical) depression. I mean, it's so bad that I'd sometimes decline requests of my magnetic presence to fun, interesting events just because I hate the way I look in a T-shirt, or the pair of shorts shows too much of my 'chicken' legs. So, it seems that the majority of my insecurities would disappear if I'd just buckle down and act on my bold-faced tasks to the left. Horrible...here's Kanye to describe my pain in the gift of music:



On another note, I've added task #117. Why sponsor a child/family if you're just going to be feeding them money? The Christian Children's Fund encourages communication between the sponsor and the recipient; and personally, I think it'd be neat to watch lil' Ester grow up and see how my contributions are helping her family. Maybe I'll even plan a trip to visit...maybe...